Locked down with my Ukulele 24

These are strange times but I’m going to stick to the holiday theme.

I didn’t realise until I got the dates that I was a small child when we holidayed in Lyme Regis, Dorset. The first time I think we stopped at the campsite dad had had enough and said we are stopping here. So that was the campsite we stopped at. I think the weather was quite bad and he had to stop.

Now this next bit might be an amalgamation of different years mixed up to one.

Then came a rather fraught stage of activity when unfamiliar tents were clumsily erected. What had been test built successfully in the garden became a much more difficult conundrum when required to perform the same activity in real weather and in anger.

Campers are a compassionate group of people and more seasoned campers offered a helping hand. Suggestions of placement were made due to running water puddling around the camp site. Level ground to avoid rolling into the canvas sides and waking, not only in a heap but soaking wet as well. You don’t touch the side of a tent when wet because you can cause the water to wick through. If you roll into the side at night your whole body becomes a moisture sink.

We were there with my uncle and his family. He was not in the best of spirits as he spent a most uncomfortable night.

To quote Ray Mears (wilderness expert) “To be wet is one thing. To be cold is another. To be wet and cold is a thoroughly miserable experience.”

In the morning my uncle walked to the front of his tent stared at the drizzling sky looked heavenward and said. “If it doesn’t stop ****** raining I’m going home.” He had no religious convictions so he was given to a little mild blasphemy from time to time.

At that moment the sky opened and the sun shone. We had two weeks of blistering sunshine.

Two other useful occurrences are worth a mention from that holiday:

1) The good Samaritan from the previous evening came over to see how we were keeping and was informed we had had a cold night. We had with the tent obtained some army issue camp beds. These have to be connected together. They have spring legs that have to be compressed into the frame. This requires considerable force to engage. If you manage to get them together, which is like stringing a long bow, taking them apart is like releasing the compressive power of a small bomb. Essentially you hang in the bed on a canvas sling. So cold air flows underneath as well as over you. So you cool rapidly.

His advice, because my mother said they were piling on blankets but were still cold, put as many blankets under you as over you. It works.

2) We went to see the newly released film Oliver. As a child going to the cinema was so exciting. I loved the songs. I loved the massive dance sequence for who will buy, I was singing and skipping along to that for most of the holiday. I think it got to annoy my uncle a bit. I was terrified of Bill Sykes. In later life I’ve got to appreciate Ron Moody’s performance more.

When I went to school we did have to write an essay of what we did during the school holidays. I drew pictures of Oliver. My teacher said she’d been to see it as well. I said I didn’t see her in the cinema where had she been. It took a while to understand that films did play in several places at the same time.

Reviewing the situation

I performed this at a party and really enjoyed overdoing it. There’s a rhythm to the lyrics that entertain effortlessly. This song was brought to life on the big screen by Ron Moody who can also be found performing Reviewing the Situation on a bare stage at a Royal Variety performance. He gives a master class in working an audience with his only props are the costume and a small suitcase containing costume jewellery.

Lionel Bart wrote Oliver the musical and it premiered in the west end in 1960. It was made into a film in 1968. Lionel wrote other well known songs such as Living Doll but surprisingly could not read or write music. He hummed the melodies and Eric Rodgers, a song writer in his own right, transcribed them into music.

Stay safe